Month: April 2014

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I followed you. What? I’m, I’m sorry, Mr. McFly, I mean, I was just starting on the second coat. Ronald Reagon. Wait a minute, wait a minute. 1:15 in the morning?

I don’t worry. this is all wrong. I don’t know what it is but when I kiss you, it’s like kissing my brother. I guess that doesn’t make any sense, does it? That’s true, Marty, I think you should spend the night. I think you’re our responsibility. yes, Joey just loves being in his playpen. he cries whenever we take him out so we just leave him in there all the time. Well Marty, I hope you like meatloaf. The storm. Doc.

She’s just trying to keep you respectable. God dammit, I’m late. Biff, stop it. Biff, you’re breaking his arm. Biff, stop. Oh, I sure like her, Marty, she is such a sweet girl. Isn’t tonight the night of the big date? Okay, real mature guys. Okay, Biff, will you pick up my books?

Uh, coast guard. That’s a great idea. I’d love to park. Hi. Yeah well, I saw it on a rerun. Ronald Reagon, the actor? Then who’s vice president, Jerry Lewis? I suppose Jane Wymann is the first lady.

I’ll get it back to you, alright? Hey Biff, check out this guy’s life preserver, dork thinks he’s gonna drown. Thanks a lot, kid. Doc? Am I to understand you’re still hanging around with Doctor Emmett Brown, McFly? Tardy slip for you, Miss Parker. And one for you McFly I believe that makes four in a row. Now let me give you a nickle’s worth of advice, young man. This so called Doctor Brown is dangerous, he’s a real nuttcase. You hang around with him you’re gonna end up in big trouble. Oh Mom, there’s nothing wrong with calling a boy.

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He laid out Biff in one punch. I never knew he had it in him. He never stood up to Biff in his life. Marty, that’s completely out of the question, you must not leave this house. you must not see anybody or talk to anybody. Anything you do could have serious reprocautions on future events. Do you understand? Pretty Mediocre photographic fakery, they cut off your brother’s hair. Ahh. Ahh. Watch this. Not me, the car, the car. My calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour, your gonna see some serious shit. Watch this, watch this. Ha, what did I tell you, eighty-eight miles per hour. The temporal displacement occurred at exactly 1:20 a.m. and zero seconds.

Okay, that’s enough. Now stop the microphone. I’m sorry fellas. I’m afraid you’re just too darn loud. Next, please. Where’s the next group, please. See, there’s Biff out there waxing it right now. Now, Biff, I wanna make sure that we get two coats of wax this time, not just one. Get your meat hooks off of me. I hope so. Oh, if Paul calls me tell him I’m working at the boutique late tonight.

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Climbing Diaries Part 1: Getting off the Ground

Last week a young man was rescued from a 400 million year-old rock crack out west of Victoria. Famous in climbing circles, the Squeeze Test at Mt Arapiles is a committing clamber through a boulder that sits split in half not far from the local campsite. He had slipped and trapped his hip around 10 at night, and spent a rainy 10-hours there before rescue services were able to successfully slide him out to safety. Thousands have no doubt passed the Test since Mt Arapiles was first pioneered as a rock-climbing mecca in the 60’s, but to the uninitiated, the idea is fucking terrifying, and so it should be. I’ve squeezed through the rock a few times now, and let me tell you it’s no picnic, and I’m on the narrow side of skinny. Not that you’d need convincing, imagine yourself for a moment thrutching* your wedged body horizontally between two rocky surfaces. It’s too narrow to turn your head around once you’re in.Read more

You know Marty, you look so familiar.

You know Marty, you look so familiar.

Hey George, heard you laid out Biff, nice going. Where the hell are they. Calvin, why do you keep calling me Calvin? It’s taken me almost thirty years and my entire family fortune to realize the vision of that day, my god has it been that long. Things have certainly changed around here. I remember when this was all farmland as far as the eye could see. Old man Peabody, owned all of this. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees. That’s him.

I’m gonna ram him. Give me a hand, Lorenzo. Ow, dammit, man, I sliced my hand. Well maybe you are and you just don’t know it yet. It works, ha ha ha ha, it works. I finally invent something that works. Mother, with Marty’s parents out of town, don’t you think he oughta spend the night, after all, Dad almost killed him with the car.

You know Marty, you look so familiar, do I know your mother? His head’s gone, it’s like it’s been erased. I hope you don’t mind but George asked if he could take me home. Whoa, whoa, okay. George, help me, please.

Marty. Marty. Marty. He’s a very strange young man. Yeah, I think maybe you do. I’m sure that in 1985, plutonium is available at every corner drug store, but in 1955, it’s a little hard to come by. Marty, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’re stuck here. Your not gonna be picking a fight, Dad, dad dad daddy-o. You’re coming to a rescue, right? Okay, let’s go over the plan again. 8:55, where are you gonna be.

Let’s get you into a radiation suit, we must prepare to reload. Sam, quit fiddling with that thing and come in here and eat your dinner. Uh, yeah. When could weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future. Hey.

Hey beat it, spook, this don’t concern you. The car, Dad, I mean He wrecked it, totaled it. I needed that car tomorrow night, Dad, I mean do you have any idea how important this was, do you have any clue? I don’t know, Doc, I guess she felt sorry for him cause her did hit him with the car, hit me with the car. No, it was The Enchantment Under The Sea Dance. Our first date. It was the night of that terrible thunderstorm, remember George? Your father kissed me for the very first time on that dance floor. It was then I realized I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. When could weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future.

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Post format Gallery

Watch it, Goldie. Who are you? About how far ahead are you going? Yes, yes, I’m George, George McFly, and I’m your density. I mean, I’m your destiny. That’s George McFly.

Ohh, no. Will you take care of that? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the lightning, you take care of your pop. By the way, what happened today, did he ask her out? Ronald Reagon. Crazy drunk drivers. Yeah, sure, okay. Hey. About 30 years, it’s a nice round number. You’re gonna be in the car with her. Marty, don’t be such a square. Everybody who’s anybody drinks.

What? Doc, you gotta help- Get your meat hooks off of me. Sam, here’s the young man you hit with your car out there. He’s alright, thank god. Lorraine, are you up there? I’m really gonna miss you. Doc, about the future- Excuse me. George, there’s nothing to be scared of. All it takes is a little self confidence. You know, if you put your mind to it, you could accomplish anything. Good, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet. Lorraine. Hello. He’s a peeping tom. Dad. Oh, oh a rematch, why, were you cheating? What, what is it hot? Unroll their fire. He’s a peeping tom. Dad.

Uh, stories, science fiction stories.

Uh, coast guard. Alright, alright, okay McFly, get a grip on yourself. It’s all a dream. Just a very intense dream. Woh, hey, listen, you gotta help me. Good, you could start by sweeping the floor. It’s my dad. The flux capacitor.

Never? Mother, with Marty’s parents out of town, don’t you think he oughta spend the night, after all, Dad almost killed him with the car. Unroll their fire. Yeah, it’s in the back. Can’t be. This is nuts. Aw, c’mon.

Well that’s your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein. it’s written all over your underwear. Oh, I guess they call you Cal, huh? Yeah, but you’re uh, you’re so, you’re so thin. Uh, well, actually, I figured since it wasn’t due till Monday- That’s George McFly. Hot, Jesus Christ, Doc. Jesus Christ, Doc, you disintegrated Einstein.

Uh, stories, science fiction stories, about visitors coming down to Earth from another planet. What? George: you ever think of running for class president? Well, they’re bigger than me. You want it, you know you want it, and you know you want me to give it to you.

Why not? Not a word, not a word, not a word now. Quiet, uh, donations, you want me to make a donation to the coast guard youth auxiliary? C’mon, more, dammit. Jeez. Holy shit. Let’s see if you bastards can do ninety. Good morning, Mom. Oh, Marty, I almost forgot, Jennifer Parker called. Okay, alright, I’ll prove it to you. Look at my driver’s license, expires 1987. Look at my birthday, for crying out load I haven’t even been born yet. And, look at this picture, my brother, my sister, and me. Look at the sweatshirt, Doc, class of 1984.

You got a real attitude problem, McFly. You’re a slacker. You remind me of you father when he went her, he was a slacker too. I can’t play. Sit here, Marty. Leave me alone. No sir, I’m gonna make something out of myself, I’m going to night school and one day I’m gonna be somebody.


Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

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