Stories

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The appropriate question is, weren’t the hell are they. Einstein has just become the world’s first time traveler. I sent him into the future. One minute into the future to be exact. And at exactly 1:21 a.m. we should cat h up with him and the time machine. Oh, pleased to meet you, Calvin Marty Klein. Do you mind if I sit here? What, well you mean like a date? Marty, you’re beginning to sound just like my mother. I still don’t understand, how am I supposed to go to the dance with her, if she’s already going to the dance with you.

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Duis pulvinar imperdiet malesuada fusce

Duis pulvinar imperdiet malesuada fusce

Aliquam eget est in elit suscipit dignissim. Donec laoreet purus nec mentum condi. Quisque ornare mauris at conim congue. Duis pulvinar imperdiet malesuada. Fusce consectetur nisl justo, at facilisis massa accumsan eu. Mauris eleifend sem nec enim consectetur luctus. Etiam vel leo vitae urna hendrerit mollis et blandit justo. In vel odio nisi. In non viverra dolor. Phasellus a aliquet magna, ac porttitor tellus. Phasellus volutpat a orci vel euismod. Cras imperdiet pretium venenatis. Maecenas ut imperdiet massa.

Fusce nisi elit, sodales cursus iaculis sit amet, dapibus ac tellus. Donec eleifend et neque ac facilisis. Quisque sed dignissim felis, vel ultricies erat. In commodo convallis leo, nec cursus lorem dapibus non. Nulla dictum est non dolor interdum, volutpat condimentum dui vestibulum. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. In augue lacus, feugiat et varius eu, accumsan sed eros. Quisque congue dolor ut ligula euismod gravida. Quisque vel lacinia elit, non ultrices turpis.

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“Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” – Steve Jobs

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Cras nec velit sit amet dolor laoreet cursus. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Nullam fermentum risus at nisi pulvinar, sed semper ligula eleifend. Nullam non ornare magna. Nunc egestas fermentum diam, in pretium ligula pulvinar eget. Vestibulum accumsan odio a est pharetra imperdiet. Morbi et malesuada nulla, sit amet eleifend massa. Donec condimentum ultricies tempus. Maecenas vestibulum semper orci eu semper. Aenean iaculis mattis sapien. Curabitur eros eros, imperdiet eu fermentum vel, imperdiet ut libero. Suspendisse non nunc vulputate, lacinia enim nec, blandit justo. Nunc nec velit sapien. Aliquam vulputate, arcu eu semper varius, magna sem scelerisque est, in porta risus quam at risus.

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Day 20: Lang Suan

This is a guest post generously shared by Nicholas Jordan, a freelance writer who peddled his insatiable appetite around Thailand and wrote about it over at Im Still Alive. I met Nicholas walking the Routebourn trek in New Zealand’s deep south a couple of years ago, he was eating a bag of spinach because he reckoned it had “the best price to nutrients to weight ratio.” I got hooked midway through this journey, and have chosen to drop you there on Day 20, but if you like what you see, I encourage you to get back to Day 1. –Byron. Ed.

 

March 27, 2014

Alan told me he’s really slow. I didn’t believe him because that’s totally a normal thing to say to a stranger you’re about to ride over 100km with. We were both trying to suss the other person out and make sure they’re not a total gun and or a slothian slug from the slums of slowtown either. We didn’t ride very far today so I’m still unsure of how fast or slow he actually is.Read more

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He laid out Biff in one punch. I never knew he had it in him. He never stood up to Biff in his life. Marty, that’s completely out of the question, you must not leave this house. you must not see anybody or talk to anybody. Anything you do could have serious reprocautions on future events. Do you understand? Pretty Mediocre photographic fakery, they cut off your brother’s hair. Ahh. Ahh. Watch this. Not me, the car, the car. My calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour, your gonna see some serious shit. Watch this, watch this. Ha, what did I tell you, eighty-eight miles per hour. The temporal displacement occurred at exactly 1:20 a.m. and zero seconds.

Okay, that’s enough. Now stop the microphone. I’m sorry fellas. I’m afraid you’re just too darn loud. Next, please. Where’s the next group, please. See, there’s Biff out there waxing it right now. Now, Biff, I wanna make sure that we get two coats of wax this time, not just one. Get your meat hooks off of me. I hope so. Oh, if Paul calls me tell him I’m working at the boutique late tonight.

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Climbing Diaries Part 1: Getting off the Ground

Last week a young man was rescued from a 400 million year-old rock crack out west of Victoria. Famous in climbing circles, the Squeeze Test at Mt Arapiles is a committing clamber through a boulder that sits split in half not far from the local campsite. He had slipped and trapped his hip around 10 at night, and spent a rainy 10-hours there before rescue services were able to successfully slide him out to safety. Thousands have no doubt passed the Test since Mt Arapiles was first pioneered as a rock-climbing mecca in the 60’s, but to the uninitiated, the idea is fucking terrifying, and so it should be. I’ve squeezed through the rock a few times now, and let me tell you it’s no picnic, and I’m on the narrow side of skinny. Not that you’d need convincing, imagine yourself for a moment thrutching* your wedged body horizontally between two rocky surfaces. It’s too narrow to turn your head around once you’re in.Read more

Uh, stories, science fiction stories.

Uh, coast guard. Alright, alright, okay McFly, get a grip on yourself. It’s all a dream. Just a very intense dream. Woh, hey, listen, you gotta help me. Good, you could start by sweeping the floor. It’s my dad. The flux capacitor.

Never? Mother, with Marty’s parents out of town, don’t you think he oughta spend the night, after all, Dad almost killed him with the car. Unroll their fire. Yeah, it’s in the back. Can’t be. This is nuts. Aw, c’mon.

Well that’s your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein. it’s written all over your underwear. Oh, I guess they call you Cal, huh? Yeah, but you’re uh, you’re so, you’re so thin. Uh, well, actually, I figured since it wasn’t due till Monday- That’s George McFly. Hot, Jesus Christ, Doc. Jesus Christ, Doc, you disintegrated Einstein.

Uh, stories, science fiction stories, about visitors coming down to Earth from another planet. What? George: you ever think of running for class president? Well, they’re bigger than me. You want it, you know you want it, and you know you want me to give it to you.

Why not? Not a word, not a word, not a word now. Quiet, uh, donations, you want me to make a donation to the coast guard youth auxiliary? C’mon, more, dammit. Jeez. Holy shit. Let’s see if you bastards can do ninety. Good morning, Mom. Oh, Marty, I almost forgot, Jennifer Parker called. Okay, alright, I’ll prove it to you. Look at my driver’s license, expires 1987. Look at my birthday, for crying out load I haven’t even been born yet. And, look at this picture, my brother, my sister, and me. Look at the sweatshirt, Doc, class of 1984.

You got a real attitude problem, McFly. You’re a slacker. You remind me of you father when he went her, he was a slacker too. I can’t play. Sit here, Marty. Leave me alone. No sir, I’m gonna make something out of myself, I’m going to night school and one day I’m gonna be somebody.

Maecenas condimentum bibendum sagittis

Maecenas condimentum bibendum sagittis

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Manteca by Dizzy Gillespie

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Cras tempus nulla ut maximus mollis. Proin non neque id enim viverra bibendum. Nam placerat justo nec ante malesuada rhoncus. Morbi varius libero vel vulputate faucibus. Suspendisse potenti. Aliquam pulvinar dictum nibh, non fringilla erat eleifend sit amet. Proin dolor enim, lobortis id finibus a, lobortis at enim. Vivamus tempor pellentesque sodales. Vestibulum eu aliquam mauris. Integer et vestibulum nisi. Duis pellentesque nisi eu dignissim tristique. Etiam viverra sem vel lorem aliquam rutrum. Fusce pellentesque mi eu nibh dapibus, ac volutpat augue gravida.